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I Am Hate by A-M-A-P I Am Hate by A-M-A-P
This is the third(3) and final part to this three(3) part series I created. I hope you all enjoy this one.

As the fighting continued over this 'mysterious girl in red' over Death and Evil. It was Death who had more of a heart than Evil did because Death always seen people who came before him, trying to be reborn again! "The girl in red' sparked something in Death that was never there?.. However, Hate was watching this whole time and didn't agree with Evil's minuscule's methods on his brother, Death, so Hate took Evil, removed his giant fur coat of dead animal and human fur, tied him down on the raw surface of hell's floor and set him on fire and watched. Hate just smiled and hovered over Evil's body while he burned and laughed at him.. The endless screams from Evil was a soothing tune to Deaths ears! But Death couldn't stop thinking about 'the girl in red'.. Now that Hate has taken care of Evil, Death has a chance now to show 'the girl in red' he has a heart. A heart full of black tar, emptiness, soulless but for girl to decide, none other.. What will happen... ?

This is a mini-fantasy series. Three parts were in the making of this. Go to part one to see how it begins!: I Am Death

Edit 1: I apologize for my big watermark. I was really happy how the fire turned out and totally forgot to reduce the opacity and the size.. :D
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This is very good, I love how you used the detail and the story I'd very neat and not jumbled up all over the place. This is also a great topic that you chose. I also like how almost anyone can just picture this whole thing in their head as they read. I also love the picture. The blur, in my opinion, gives off a really creative and cool effect to the picture. I also like how well the picture was done. One thing I would do is more detail.Great job, keep up the great work, good luck in the future :)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

Wow, this piece of artwork is amazing! I don't see anything wrong with it. It kind of reminds me of Hexus from Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest. The colors are wonderful. It doesn't look rushed, and the lighting and fire are perfect. It also gives off the hateful/evil feell that the title indicates. The skull looks loke it's trying to consume something. The smoke you did was also a good touch. The teeth look old and rotting, which helps the skull look like it's been held back for a long time. You, my friend, are a very good artist. Well done.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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L-MASTER Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
UmikoMitsuki Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I´m sorry I didn´t say anything before :iconnervous-laughplz: :iconnervous-laughplz: 

Well I really think this is awesome!!! It´s like it´s devouring someone and in some way that´s what hate does! It consumes someone little by little!!

Great work!! Keep going!!Neko Emoji-18 (Cheer) [V1] 
iamamango123 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Student Digital Artist
trini-raven Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry I'm late. This is really some hate conjuring up in this piece. Beside the series, and storyline, do you see this as being "what hate looks like" to you? If so... then waw.... you are extremely vivid. Awesome artwork!
WingDiamond Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
ZimmyRose Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
... wow  O.o
TheAnimaster Featured By Owner Edited Jan 29, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Hi. Sorry for the late reply. You asked for my opinion over your work, and I'll focus on the prose rather than the image artistry. The painting is great for starters... definitely a lot of work put into it, and that will get you places for sure if you can keep up with that level of determination. 

The prose however, that is another thing... and having taught English for over seven years, well, here is my honest grade: you've got a lot of work ahead of you. Please take this as my effort to help you improve, as I would not have taken the time to write this otherwise.

First, your two initial sentences are fragmented. Also look at the first sentence -- should you start it with "As..." or would it be stronger if you did away with the word?

So the grammatically correct way to put it (without altering your artistic approach) would be:

As the fighting continued over this 'mysterious girl in red' over Death and Evil, it was Death who had more of a heart than Evil did. (deleted because) Death (had) always seen people who (had come?) before him, (people) trying to be reborn again!

Ok, lets stop here and get some more pointers: watch your sentence tense. You want to write with the same tense. Obviously there are some cases where you will write in another tense to indicate the timeline of events i.e.: when one event happens before another etc. Try to avoid using the perfect tense unless you are British LOL. Funny coz I say that after having just completed my last few degrees from British/Australian institutions (you'll see I still spell with "ou" and "s instead of z" if only my stupid spellchecker will leave my spelling alone!!). You can confuse yourself if you try fancy perfect tense. Only use it if necessary. Normally we use the perfect tense to indicate a timeline of events that have happened in the past. It's complicated. Don't make me expand on this here!

To keep things simple, I would suggest writing in present tense -- like you are telling a story to someone around a campfire. Tell it as it is. That will get people more involved in your story. By doing this you will avoid using perfect tenses unnecessarily.

OK, next up: ambivalent sentences: 
Death always seen people who came before him, trying to be reborn again!  -- In this sentence, who is trying to be reborn again? Is it "Death" or "the People"? There are ways we can avoid conflicting ideas like this and punctuation plays a HUGE role, however, in some cases not even all the punctuation in the world can save a sentence, and ultimately the sentence may need to be re-worded a bit. So with previous corrections in place we have:

Death always sees people who come before him -- people trying to be reborn again!

Again, you might say "Well OF COURSE we're talking about the people, dummy!", but unless the reader has read every page and sentence before this, the idea doesn't stand by itself. Hence the conflict.

Going DEEPER however, we might improve on the sentence more:

Death, ever-seeing and ever-knowingly, is familiar with all that come before him -- those that wish to be re-born again!

I threw in a couple adverbs there to beef it up, and I used hyphenation to iron things out grammatically. 

Ok, this is just the beginning. I do apologise as I need to be somewhere else and I've just spent the last hour studying your work. Hey -- I took the time, see! I really wish I can finish my review, but then I'd have to re-write the books that are already out there. 

Instead, let me just end this with some advice to help you out: Read more. Simple but true. Here's the thing, I'm not trying to be a know-all dick too. I am NOT a good writer myself! (<-- proof right here) I had a hard time getting my thoughts and ideas together back when I was doing my formal education. I had a hard time making statements and backing those statements up with references. Oh gee, please don't make me reminisce!

What's important is that you carry on, you're on the right track -- just keep at it and you WILL be better. I can definitely see you becoming better than me, and I've seen a LOT of people become better than me -- so I am not BS-ing when I say this. But you do need to read more. What should you read? Just about anything I guess. I'm not a reading expert!! If I were I wouldn't have had such a hard time with my thesis!! But what I __did__ discover when I was doing my degree was that it was MUCH easier to get my thoughts and stuff together when I read things in advance. 

Now creative writing, obviously, is different from academic writing. The tense-and-punctuation practice is there however. So read whatever you like to read, but pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation. Don't just go and buy yourself a Big Book of Grammar and start reading that. That's boring stuff. I sure didn't! The reason I am such a grammar Nazi is because I TAUGHT THIS STUFF TO ESL LEARNERS FOR 7 FRIGGIN' YEARS and boy, did __I__ have to be creative in order to keep those kids from falling asleep! That was a LOT of years to improve on my own grammar!

So my simple advice is just that: Read, read, read. News articles, online forums -- with 'professionals', not 'YouTubers' (I learned a LOT from an online teacher-forum with expats bitching about life in Thailand.. LOL) -- stuff that gets edited by an editor is usually your best bet in learning what's right and what's wrong. 

Other than that, my other advice is to keep up the good work : ) !!!


edit: LOL at me not doing my homework -- I just realised that you hail from the UK. My apologies mate!
0verSoul Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Professional Writer
I love how to me it seems the hate is consuming him. Great piece!
Hanna22265 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Awesome vision of hate.
I like a lot!
Damdadidoo44 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is totally different from my own style but it looks really cool, the blur has a nice effect.:D (Big Grin) 
Get-Wicked-Designs Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Professional General Artist
absolutely badass
mowrin-sama Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015
I can feel it! * 0 * I like a lot.

Puedo sentirlo! *0* me gusta mucho
Paciot Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015
Awesome work!
Neon505 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ladyblackbird13 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
This is awesome! :fav:
A-M-A-P Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you! I'm so glad you like it, hehe! :D
ladyblackbird13 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No Prob! It's awesome! :D
Shipwreck5897 Featured By Owner Edited Jan 6, 2015
Looks like my grandma when you take her see's candy.
JanetR2014 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, what a gruesome death for Evil...
ladycrowlee Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is beautiful
Tamuril2 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015  Hobbyist
I like this piece. The only thing I'd critique about it (and remember, this is only my own opinion, so feel more than free to toss it into the virtual rubbish bin) is that it's just a tad bit too blurry. Don't get me wrong. I think the blurred vision enhances this, but the edges of the characters need to be more defined, just so we know what things are concretely. Other than that, it's a wonderful piece of artwork. Keep it up.
Instrumentenfreak Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Professional Artist
Wow - great picture!
princessnyxie Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Amazing beyond words.
takemetoyourmadness Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I like the theme and how you draw the flames, well done :)
Dovewing345 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
AmazingCatherine123 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Student Writer
awww poor Evil, he seemed to have a better heart >< good story summary by the way! It sounds really good and exciting! I can't wait to read morezerz!!!Giggle :D (Big Grin) :happybounce: Hug Huggle! Bunny Emoji-89 (Cheer) [V5] Free Baymax Icon 
FeysalAnthonyNair Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
zupay-wekufe Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014  Student General Artist
Nice. I like the colors and the concept.
Gwynnever Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014
Wow, really evocative.  Scary as all get out!
Cleverlyn Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014  Student General Artist
Woah, I didn't even notice the man until just now. I thought he was just like the other flames. Amazing piece!
BCordeiro Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow, I Like it. A lot.
Bannakoot Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014
wow. i looked at your other artworks too, i cant even find a word, they are amazing!! i didnt see if it said that it was a painting? caus i would love to know how u did it. i also love the mini series thing, its really awesome. :D
Snyslon93 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
How fitting. Flames describe hatred so well. Superb artwork :)
DKandiliotis Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Looks cool man, keep up the good work :)
A-M-A-P Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks bro!
CritterBurger Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Love the flames!
A-M-A-P Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
That was my favorite thing to do! :D
uPunk0 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow dam this is cool
A-M-A-P Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks alot! :D Glad you like it!
MemorialComics Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014  Professional General Artist
o wow nice
Veritas-et-Animus Featured By Owner Edited Dec 17, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Great job! Definitely strikes fear and has a sense of ominousness. 
dnimll Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Did you use this pic? The bottom right's a blurry version of this:…
A-M-A-P Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
No, never seen that picture before. Although someone sent me arough draft picture that looks like that in a way. I usually ask my Watchers for suggestions in my next piece. Perhaps someone seen that pic and gave me the reference and idea. 
dnimll Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ahh ok^^
omenardo Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Good result and very skillful. right places are exact and detailed for example eye lines and nose
colors work without problems :nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod:nod
Eterniwolfie Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014  Student General Artist
It looks like a demon. Mm.. Scary, but beautifulll... Great work!
XandImus Featured By Owner Edited Dec 16, 2014   General Artist
very dark bleak & quite viciously intense deep metaphor of the most primmest of all emotion as given is this depicted conception upon detailed obviation & interpretation or in other words..."IT'S SCARY!" o_O; 

catarinascb Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014
It's beautiful o.o
GrinReaperX Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Reminds me of this song for some reason…
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Submitted on
December 2, 2014
Image Size
2.0 MB


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